Horrible Bosses— An Insane Romp

"Almost everyone has had a horrible boss at some point in their lives, someone who made life miserable," says director Seth Gordon. "We all know how tempting it is to fantasize about how much better things would be if they were out of the way. This is a story about three guys who decide to do something about it. "But," he adds, "it doesn't turn out exactly the way they expect." If bumping off their tormentors seems a little extreme at first, it soon becomes clear that, for one reason or another, these three browbeaten and manipulated workers are out of reasonable options. And it's not as if they started out as homicidal malcontents— actually, quite the opposite. Gordon sees the story's heroes, played by Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis, as "just average suburban working Joes. They're not bad guys, really; they're doing their best, but they're trapped and victimized by the people they work for in ways that are truly heinous and profound until they just can't take it anymore."

Week after week, longtime buddies Nick, Dale and Kurt meet for a few rounds to commiserate over their distinctly different yet equally desperate predicaments and the individuals responsible: Harken, Nick's control-freak boss, played by Kevin Spacey; Pellit, the unconscionable heir to his father's company and the bane of Kurt's existence, played by Colin Farrell; and Julia Harris, the predatory dentist, played by Jennifer Aniston as audiences have never seen her before. As the conversation (and the beer) takes its natural course, the guys end up reflecting on how much brighter their lives and careers would be if only their despicable bosses were out of the picture. How nice it would be if they turned up dead one day. How much they deserve to turn up dead...

From there, it's not that great a leap. Or so they think. The problem is, apart from their outrage, their furtive fantasies and the knowledge gleaned from umpteen seasons of "Law & Order," they have no qualifications, no experience and certainly no aptitude for the assassination business. "They're completely incompetent," states Gordon, a fact that is brought home to them immediately, and pretty much every hour thereafter, and which prompts them to enlist the bargain-priced assistance of a self-promoting parolee named Motherf****r Jones, played by Jamie Foxx.

From that springboard, "It becomes a linear story where one thing sets off another, and it just keeps getting faster and crazier as the guys quickly reach the point where there's no turning back," explains the director, who cites "Horrible Bosses" as one of those rare scripts that made him laugh till he cried. If the average moviegoer can't relate to a murder plot, however ill-conceived, the filmmakers feel it's a safe bet they can at least relate to the escalating frustration that finally pushes these three working stiffs over the edge. Producer Brett Ratner, who developed "Horrible Bosses" with producing partner Jay Stern, notes, "The title alone says it all. It got an immediate reaction from everyone who heard it. People don't want to admit that the person they work for now is a horrible boss, but they'll refer to former bosses, or tell us about their 'friend' who has one. Everyone has bad experiences to draw on, and that's why this is so much fun."

"Actually, in discussing the movie, I discovered that a lot more people have wanted to kill their bosses than I would have guessed," offers Jason Sudeikis, who stars as the normally easygoing Kurt. In that respect, "Horrible Bosses" is a tale of wish-fulfillment on a grand scale for anyone who has ever imagined, say, heaving his or her immediate supervisor off the roof, but with Nick, Dale and Kurt taking all the risks and making all the stupid mistakes.

"They carry the water for us," says producer Jay Stern. "These are tough times for a lot of people, and many of us feel thankful to even have a job. At the same time, if someone is oppressing or abusing you, you think, 'Do I really have to take this? Do I really have to deal with this maniac?' I think there are plenty of people who don't necessarily want to kill their bosses but wouldn't mind seeing them hang off an overpass for awhile during rush hour.

"When these guys decide to take revenge in the most extreme way, it might seem a little dark at first," Stern continues, "but they screw it up so badly that it's not really a movie about three workers who get off on killing their bosses; it's more about the outrageous and hilarious adventure they take together after they decide to empower themselves and end up getting involved in something way over their heads."

Starring as the beleaguered Nick, Jason Bateman concurs: "This is not exactly rational behavior and I hope there's no one like these guys out there. We're just trying to make people laugh. If they find a correlation between the story and their own lives, great. But I wouldn't advise trying any of this at home."

The Cult of Pure Celebrity

One of my favorite movies is “The American President,” (1995) starring Michael Douglas and Annette Bening. It is the story of a widowed president who falls in love with a liberal lobbyist. He struggles to navigate his relationship with her while also doing his job as the President. It’s a good movie, you should see it if you haven’t already. In the final speech of the movie, President Shepherd (Douglas), who has been maligned politically because of his budding relationship with the lobbyist Sydney Ellen Wade (Bening), finally stands up for himself and his personal life at an impromptu press conference. In the middle of his speech he says, "Everybody knows America isn’t easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, ’cause it’s gonna put up a fight. It’s gonna say, 'You want free speech? Let’s see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who’s standing center stage and advocating, at the top of his lungs, that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free."

It was a powerful moment. What we do and say matters. Our actions and our words define us. That is a truth from which we cannot escape, no matter how much we try. Celebrity worship reflects a primal need that’s been present since the Babylonians: to elevate people to the status of mythic heroes, only to destroy them. “It suits us when… fame comes at a price. Or as the Greeks put it, the only place to go from the top of Fortune’s Wheel is down. Achilles, hero of the Trojan War, had to choose between a long, anonymous life or a short, glorious one. There’s no middle ground: a hero must either “go out in a blaze of glory or else disappoint us.”

Seventeen years ago (1994), then-NBA standout Charles Barkley (The Chicago Bulls) wrote the text for his own Nike commercial, a black-and-white ad that lasted 27 seconds and provided water cooler talk for people who watched it air back then and remains a conversation starter for anyone exposed to it since. Barkley, famed for his ferocious play, as well as his opinions, looked directly into the camera when he spoke just 42 words. But they weren't just words, they were the truth. When Barkley stated, "I am not a role model. I'm not paid to be a role model. I am paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court. Parents should be role models. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn't mean I should raise your kids." Many parents and psychologists or family and youth sports researchers agreed with Barkley's premise.

Throughout his career, Barkley had been arguing that athletes should not be considered role models. He stated, "A million guys can dunk a basketball in jail; should they be role models?" In 1994, his argument prompted national news when he wrote the text for his "I am not a role model" Nike commercial. Dan Quayle, the former Vice President of the United States, called it a "family-values message" for Barkley's oft-ignored call for parents and teachers to quit looking to him to "raise your kids" and instead be role models themselves.

Barkley's message sparked a great public debate about the nature of role models. He argued, "I think the media demands that athletes be role models because there's some jealousy involved. It's as if they say, this is a young black kid playing a game for a living and making all this money, so we're going to make it tough on him. And what they're really doing is telling kids to look up to someone they can't become, because not many people can be like we are. Not all kids can be like Michael Jordan.

It was brutal, perhaps harsh... but again, it was the truth. We have become a society which elevates our expectations to levels which far exceed anyone's ability to meet them. We worship "celebrity" and we place these people under microscopes, place them on lofty perches and then joyfully watch as they fall from grace and come inevitably crashing to the ground.

So what is the allure of fame? The lifestyle, for one thing. In the Faust legend, the doctor agrees to sell his soul to the Devil, but in return gets all his wishes granted for 24 years. In both ancient Albania and Mesoamerica, slaves and youth selected as human sacrifices were often first entertained in massive splendor. Nowadays, MTV allows the Jersey Shore kids to party themselves sick— with the explicit understanding that they’ll pay back the network by self-destructing for the cameras. Of course, in The Odyssey, Achilles’ ghost reappears and says he made the wrong choice— he should have gone for long-lived anonymity. But once fame is granted, there’s no going back. It perpetuates itself and never returns to the escape of anonymity.

Neil Young Reunites With Harvesters

In the mid-1980s, Neil Young and a band filled with Nashville music greats toured with The Judds, appeared on Ralph Emery's Nashville Now television show and tried briefly, mightily and unsuccessfully to break into the country mainstream. Looking back on that time, Young couldn’t be prouder. "This is a part of my life that is unmistakably the most satisfying from a musician's standpoint," Young said, standing in the Country Music Hall of Fame’s Ford Theater and reflecting on all of the live recordings from 1984 and 1985 that have just been released as A Treasure.

That statement might confuse longtime fans, most of whom prefer classic Young albums Harvest and Tonight’s the Night to his one album from this period, the oft-panned Old Ways. But A Treasure reveals Young and International Harvesters band members Ben Keith, Anthony Crawford, Rufus Thibodeaux, Spooner Oldham, Tim Drummond, Karl Himmel, Pig Robbins and Joe Allen delivering country music both adventurous and well-rooted, with tremendous instrumental flights and palpable joy. When co-producer Keith heard the quarter-century-old recordings (culled from 85 shows: The Harvesters never made a studio album), he pronounced them "a treasure," and Young had his title.

"(In the Harvesters) it was a natural interplay, all the time," Young said. "Great musicians, communicating on their own level, all the time. I'm so proud of it. It's already a huge success as far as I'm concerned." Young reunited with most of the living Harvesters (steel guitar legend Keith died last year, and Cajun fiddle master Thibodeaux died in 2005) at a private gathering Sunday night at the Hall to hear the album and catch up. In the mid-'80s, Young’s life and career were in some turmoil. He was sued by Geffen Records for making experimental rock records that were a harder sell (the label described that music as "willfully uncharacteristic"), and he was dogged by the IRS. Yet the negatives of the time now fall away in favor of Young’s nearly giddy recollection of the music that was made.

"There were some bittersweet moments, but the music is so good and so happy, and it felt good to bring everybody together and celebrate," he said.

Young grew up listening to country music in Canada, and he had long been fascinated by Music City. He came here to appear on Johnny Cash's television show in the early 1970s, and he recorded his biggest radio hit, "Heart of Gold," at Quad Studios along Music Row. He came back in 1978 to record the album Comes a Time, which featured several players who would eventually join the International Harvesters. But he’d never ventured so deeply into country until 1984, when he signed with Nashville booking agency Buddy Lee attractions, appeared on Emery’s program to sing and to engage in some good-natured verbal jousting with Faron Young, and set about proving that his record label chief was wrong when he told Young that he'd never be accepted on country radio.

Turns out the label guy was right but that Young found a musical kinship with the Harvesters that was as satisfying as any radio hit. Monday at the Hall, he spoke about each band member, praising Keith’s steel tone as "pure silk and gold" and calling Thibodeaux "probably the greatest Cajun fiddler that ever lived." Crawford was the eager youngster in a band of well-seasoned pros.

"I don't really understand how it happened," Crawford said. "I think I sang on a Tanya Tucker record and (Young’s producer) Elliot Mazer heard my voice and asked me to come down to (Music Row studio) the House of David. Within five minutes, I was singing in a vocal booth with Neil Young, one of my favorite people of all time. And we had a really good sound. Our vocals were like peas and carrots."

There were two versions of the International Harvesters, as midway through the group’s run Robbins replaced Oldham on piano and Allen replaced Tim Drummond on bass. Both ensembles are included on A Treasure, with Keith and Thibodeaux's mind-bending interplay on "Southern Pacific" and Oldham’s relaxed and soulful piano on the album-opening "Amber Jean" standing as two highlights. Famously averse to staying in any one musical place, Young disbanded the International Harvesters in late 1985, and with 1986's Life he was back residing in rock terrain. But he frequently collaborated with several Harvesters (working nearly constantly with Keith, whom he calls "my brother"), and he returned to Nashville to eventually record 2005's Prairie Wind album.

He mentioned Nashville and referenced Thibodeaux as "that old country fiddle" in 1992’s "One of These Days," a song from the album Harvest Moon that found Young reminiscing on his own musical journey. That song opened with the line, "One of these days, I'm gonna sit down and write a long letter to all the good friends I've known." A Treasure feels a lot like that letter. "A friend of mine said that last night," Young said. "He said, 'My favorite song of yours is 'One of These Days,' and it feels like tonight is one of these days.' I gave him a big hug, 'cause that made me feel real good."

Social Network Free Speech? Really?

Why won't Twitter and Facebook sign on for free speech on the Internet? According to a recent article in The New York Times, these social media stalwarts are notably absent from the Global Network Initiative, a code of conduct that is dedicated to protecting free speech around the world. Google, Microsoft and Yahoo are the three tech giants already enlisted by the GNI, though their involvement dates back to 2008, when each encountered public criticism for their acquiescence to China's restrictive policies regarding the web. Advocacy groups like the Electronic Frontier Foundation and the Center for Democracy and Technology are also members.

But, despite intense attention afforded the roles of both Twitter and Facebook during recent uprisings in the Middle East, neither company has seen fit to join GNI. Many have hailed these social media sites as being instrumental in helping people to organize protests, and otherwise get their voices heard in highly repressive situations— one Egyptian man went so far as to actually name his child Facebook out of sheer gratitude.

While Twitter declined to comment on the story, Facebook spokesman Andrew Noyes simply told them, "As Facebook grows, we'll continue to expand our outreach and participation, but it's important to remember that our global operations are still small, with offices in only a handful of countries." Still, even without having officially signed its name to any pact, Twitter has shown that they are willing to protect the rights of their users. When the government subpoenaed the site to turn over user information in a Wikileaks-related case, Twitter challenged the order, and informed the users who had been singled out, so that they might individually fight the order themselves.

GNI's guidelines say that participants, when asked to remove content, or restrict communication, should do the following: Require that governments follow established domestic legal processes when they are seeking to restrict freedom of expression. Interpret government restrictions and demands so as to minimize the overall negative effect on freedom of expression itself. Interpret the governmental authority's jurisdiction so as to minimize the negative effect on to freedom of expression. It works well in "theory", but does it hold up in process?

http://www.globalnetworkinitiative.org/

My question is how does one define "Freedom of Speech" in a global network where each and every country has its own set of laws? In a rather classic case of "Twitter Controversy"... Amanda Bonnen didn’t mean to tweet her way into anything. In fact, she wasn’t even really much of a Twitter user at all, compared to many of us who tweet daily and RT hourly. When she sent the tweet that landed her in a cesspool of litigation, in fact, she had only 20 followers, was following 29 herself, and barely tweeted even once a day. That didn’t matter to Horizon Realty, however. When Bonnen sent along her ill-fated tweet to her 20 followers on May 12th, 2009, she had no idea that each of those people was worth $2,500 in damages to Horizon Realty. Not long after she’d sent that tweet, she was hit with a $50,000 lawsuit for it.

Given those numbers, I’m potentially worth billions… and I've looked at all sides of the arguments.

Amanda’s tweet in question? To a friend: “You should just come anyway. Who said sleeping in a moldy apartment was bad for you? Horizon Realty thinks it’s okay.” According to the news item in the Chicago Sun-Times, the Horizon Realty company filed the $50,000 lawsuit for libel and damages at the Cook County Circuit Court. The now-defunct @abonnen user name was listed as an “alias” for Amanda Bonnen in the suit.

The apartment in question, in case you want to avoid it, is somewhere in Chicago. I suspect that by now, it’s the focus of a shrine to Bonnen’s potential losses. Perhaps it should also be a shrine to the new loss of freedom on Twitter that this could mean. Personally if I didn’t want people to know about the alleged issues in the apartment, I would have avoided a public lawsuit that disclosed the exact location of the apartment in question.

All they did was enable millions around the world to become aware of issues with their properties instead of the few people this tenant told. They should sue themselves for the billions it probably relates to, in regards to the amount of eyes that have now come to see the address. Sometimes I really wonder if the people in those high-priced designer suits ever really think things through. Not only will people avoid the building now, but they will inevitably avoid this real estate company, based upon their counteractions.

Horizon Realty eventually responded to widespread backlash facing the apartment company after the story about its lawsuit against a tweeting tenant put it in the international limelight. The press release stated: "The response to our libel lawsuit has been tremendous, We would like to take this opportunity to clarify some confusion concerning the circumstances surrounding our lawsuit against Amanda Bonnen. I would first like to take this opportunity to apologize for tongue in cheek comments that were made previously regarding our approach to litigation. This statement is not in line with our philosophy towards property management and was taken out of context. No mold was ever found but her unit was one of several that had experienced an overnight leak, the tenant moved out on June 30th, and then, on June 24th, much to our surprise given her previous silence, Bonnen sued Horizon Realty Group."

In response, "conducting our due diligence," Jeff Michael of Horizon Realty Group says her tweet was identified and the company "acted to protect our reputation just as we would for any other related comment made in a public forum."

How will the possibility of a lawsuit affect how you or I tweet? Will we be as likely to say things openly? Could this destroy Twitter as we know it? I personally believe that the REAL issue lies in defining which laws, if any, apply to the Internet or Twitter or Facebook or any one of thousands of social networks given the fact that we are dealing with a GLOBAL NETWORK. What if Amanda made those exact same comments while living in Ireland? What would happen then? The fact of the matter is that social networking, much like so many other areas of the Internet is not a simple black and white issue.

http://www.aclu.org/free-speech

It isn't about US laws, it's about every single country that doles out laws and rules. But then, there are also additional factors to consider. Think you just have 20 followers? Think again. Your tweets are are able to be located on just about any search engine that exists anywhere. And it’s a routine practice for any smart company to look for its name regularly using those search engines. Also, what you tweet or put up on the Internet NEVER EVER goes away. There are millions of Internet archiving sites which take "snapshots" of all of the social networking as well as web sites and servers 24-7.

Face it. We are no longer alone, nor are we anonymous. It doesn't matter who you are or what your significance is. You can be a celebrity, a politician or just someone who decided to purchase an iPad. If you've convinced yourself that your personal information will never be discovered, you've deluded yourself. Privacy is a thing of the past. Google maps out streets and houses and businesses in such a way that the whole world is watching. The cameras are rolling and no one is able to avoid them. You don’t get to play by the old rules any more, and it doesn’t matter what business you’re in. You don’t get the old privilege of anonymity. You don’t get to bury your story on page 47. There is no more page 47. Every story is somebody’s page 1.

As a matter of fact, it isn’t your story any more. It belongs to everyone, and they’ll do what they please with it. If you want to influence the conversation, you’ve actually got to get into the conversation. Respectfully. Meaningfully. Just because that’s a social media cliché doesn’t mean you get to ignore it and hope it goes away. The one-to-a-jillion aspect of social media means that any of us can hit the equivalent of the front page of the New York Times at any time. All that has to happen is that we find ourselves in the middle of a really interesting story.    

Horizon Realty might just be the most loveable, fair, decent and true company in the world. Right now, their name recognition has about as much appeal as those Orkin pests. With mold. Whether fair or not, Horizon has made a worldwide name for itself virtually instantly, connecting its brand with callous disregard for its tenants, or worse. Yes, there is such a thing as bad publicity. This is what it looks like.

Do social media users read all the facts carefully before flaming? Of course they don’t. Are there dozens of inaccurate accusations about Horizon flying around Twitter and everywhere else? Absolutely. Is that fair? No. Then again, filing a $50,000 lawsuit against a customer for a snarky remark made to a friend isn’t going to strike many as entirely reasonable either. The good news is that the next controversy is right around the corner... causing the old one to fade into oblivion as fast as Charlie Sheen and his declaration of, "Winning!"

So where do we go with all of this? What do we learn? Who knows? Because when push comes to shove, be it Twitter or your neighbor's annoying bright red fence... it's always going to be something.

Michael Jackson • AEG Lawsuit

The insurers of Michael Jackson's ill-fated "This Is It" London comeback concerts have asked a judge to nullify a $17.5 million dollar policy taken out by promoters, saying they were never told that the singer was taking powerful drugs. Underwriters at Lloyds of London filed a lawsuit against AEG Live and Jackson's company in Los Angeles Superior Court on Monday, asking a judge to solve the insurance dispute almost two years after the "Thriller" singer's death. Jackson, 50, died in Los Angeles on June 25th, 2009 after rehearsing for the upcoming series of 50 concerts in London. Authorities said he died of a massive dose of the anesthetic propofol and a cocktail of other sedatives and painkillers. Jackson's personal doctor is scheduled to stand trial in September on charges of giving the singer a fatal dose of propofol as a sleep aid. The insurance policy was taken out to cover the cancellation or postponement of the London concerts in the case of the death, accident or illness of Jackson.

The lawsuit claimed that AEG, who hired Jackson's physician Dr. Conrad Murray, failed to disclose the singer's medical history to the insurers "including, but not limited to, his apparent prescription drug use and/or drug addiction." The lawsuit further states that AEG or Jackson or his company knew but did not disclose that Jackson was taking propofol— an anesthetic that is usually restricted to hospital use ahead of surgery. It adds that attempts to resolve the dispute with AEG Live outside the courts have failed. "Underwriters therefore request that the policy be declared null and void." All of which is interesting because, when the media speculated in early 2009 as to whether Jackson was fit enough to deliver a fifty night residency, many noting that the singer had shunned a London court appearance in relation to his dispute with Sheikh Abdulla the previous year supposedly because of ill health, AEG insisted doctors and insurers had given the singer the all clear health wise.

AEG made a claim on its insurance policy with Lloyd’s shortly after Jackson’s death. But, Lloyd’s says it has been requesting more information about the late singer’s health, and his personal medic Conrad Murray, since late 2009, to no avail. AEG is yet to respond to the lawsuit, though a spokesman for the Jackson estate was dismissive of the insurer’s claims. The estate’s legal rep Howard Weitzman told The Wrap that the Lloyd’s lawsuit was “nothing more than an insurance company trying to avoid paying a legitimate claim by the insured”. Whatever happens with lawsuit, it seems certain Lloyd’s will resist paying up until after the Conrad Murray trial, due to take place in September, especially as Murray’s legal reps have indicated they might claim Jackson administered the lethal shot of propofol himself, maybe in a bid to commit suicide, a fact which would presumably also have the potential to void any insurance policy.

AEG, of course, recovered a sizable part of the money it had invested in "This Is It" at the time of Jackson’s death— the majority of which wasn’t insured at all— by turning backstage footage of rehearsals for the show into the "This Is It" movie. The insurer says that the insurance policy relating to "This Is It" is void because AEG Live misrepresented Jackson’s health at the outset. The live music giant, Lloyd’s alleges, claimed that Jackson had not received any medical treatment, other than cosmetic surgery, since 2005. AEG Live, which is privately held, did not return calls for comment.

Dem Bones, Dem Bones!

After watching the Bones Season 6 finale (over and over and over again), we think you all know why we’re excited for Season 7: Brennan is pregnant! With Booth’s child! But it’s so much more than just that. (Really, it is.) Read on for our top five reasons why we’re wishing the summer would be over and Bones would be back in our lives already. Number 5: The return of the belt buckle. Call us silly, but we miss that “Cocky” belt buckle, and not just because it involved focusing in on Booth’s (David Boreanaz) midsection. Though that doesn’t hurt! We used to think Seeley stopped wearing his gift from Brennan (Emily Deschanel) because he was in a relationship with Hannah, but even though she’s long gone, there’s still no sign of the red accessory. Maybe his official coupledom with Brennan means it’s only a matter of time before the buckle makes its return.

Number 4: The look on their faces... Even though we’re pretty confident Angela (Michaela Conlin) knows what happened behind Booth’s bedroom door the night of one special squintern’s passing, we’re pretty sure the baby news will still come as a complete shock to her— and the whole Jeffersonian team. Imagining the many incredulous looks Sweets (John Francis Daley)— a card-carrying member of Team B&B— will make when he finds out is one way we’re keeping ourselves busy during this long summer with no new Bones.

Number 3: More guts, more glory. We know we have a tendency to act grossed out by the weekly display of disgusting Bones bodies, but the truth is deep down we love it. Watching the writer’s top themselves in the gore department week after week is one of the reasons we tune in. But even though the body in the season finale’s bowling episode was named one of NY Mag’s Grossest Bodies on TV this season, we think the best/worst is yet to come. Even executive producer Stephen Nathan can’t contain his excitement. Last week he tweeted, “Working on the first six Bones stories for season 7. Seems to be no end to the murdering. And that brain... how the hell did that happen?!” Number 2. Baby Bones No. 2— Creator Hart Hanson will no doubt have something up his sleeve when it comes to the storyline for Booth and Brennan’s baby, but as long as it results in a healthy baby, we think we can handle just about anything. Sure it was heartbreaking to watch Angela and Hodgins (TJ Thyne) come to grips with the fact that their baby might be born blind, but seeing him come into the world healthy— and not to mention named after dearly departed Vincent—  was totally worth the anxiety and tears (ours and theirs). And now that it’s B&B’s turn to go through the process, we’re looking forward to the baby bumps (real and fake) and the cutesy moments of reassuring each other that everything’s going to be okay. It will be okay, right, Hart?! It better be!!!

Number 1: Less talk, more action. Don’t get us wrong, we love, love, love that Booth and Brennan finally hooked up, but our one complaint is that we didn’t get to see nary a smooch. B&B should understand this more than anyone: We want proof! Thankfully the show has all next season to make it up to us. Hand-holding, face-caressing, cuddling— pick your PDA poison, writers. It’s okay, we’ll wait. Now you tell us! What are YOU guys most looking forward to when Bones returns in the fall?

The Vampire Diaries: Season 3

Returning for its third season, The Vampire Diaries is the story of two vampire brothers obsessed with the same beautiful girl, and battling to control the fate of an entire town. During season one, Stefan (Paul Wesley, "Fallen") and Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder, "Lost"), returned to their hometown of Mystic Falls, Virginia, for very different reasons— Stefan was determined to get to know Elena Gilbert (Nina Dobrev, the upcoming film, "The Killing Game"), who bears a striking resemblance to Katherine Pierce, the beautiful but ruthless vampire the brothers knew and loved in 1864, while Damon was intent on releasing Katherine from the tomb where he believed she was trapped by a witch's spell all those years ago.

In the season one finale, Elena's uncle Johnathan (guest star David Anders) set a plan in motion that brought the Founder's Day celebration to an end amid chaos, destruction and death, and saw the return of the vengeful Katherine Pierce. Elena's troubled younger brother, Jeremy Gilbert (Steven R. McQueen, "Everwood"), was so devastated by the death of Anna (Malese Jow, "Hannah Montana"), the vampire who befriended him, that he lost all hope and took an overdose of pills. That same night, Tyler Lockwood (Michael Trevino, "Cane"), Matt Donovan (Zach Roerig, "Friday Night Light") and Caroline Forbes (Candice Accola, "Juno") were in a serious car accident while trying to escape the chaos in the town square, and Caroline was rushed to the hospital, her life hanging in the balance. The events of that terrible night will also have long-range effects on Bonnie Bennett (Katerina Graham, the upcoming "Honey 2"), the powerful witch who was Elena's best friend until the vampire brothers came between them; Alaric Saltzman (Matt Davis, "Legally Blonde") the vampire-hunter who has become an unlikely ally for Stefan and Damon; and Jenna (Sara Canning, "Smallville"), who has yet to discover the violence that occurred in her own home.

In season two, the appearance of the villainous Katherine in Mystic Falls will throw a wrench into the love triangle between Stefan, Elena and Damon, and the other residents of Mystic Falls must choose sides as they fall victim to a new breed of danger. New and unexpected friendships will be forged, allies will become enemies, and hearts will be broken. Stefan and Damon will be forced to face a villain more evil and diabolical than they ever believed possible.

Season three opens the door to learn more about Klaus and The Original Family as his motives for wanting Stefan on his side are finally revealed. As Stefan sinks deeper into the dark side, Damon and Elena struggle with the guilt of their growing bond even as they work together to bring Stefan back from the edge. The ghosts from Jeremy's past have a powerful message they're trying to deliver to him, not to mention the impact they're having on his relationship with Bonnie. And as Caroline and Tyler grow closer, a war erupts between their families.

The Vampire Diaries writers are back at it! Producers Julie Plec and Kevin Williamson are already biting into Season 3, tweeting about their return to The Vampire Diaries writing room earlier this week. That wasn’t much of a vacation for our fave creative team, but with a show as action packed as this one, we’re hardly surprised they’re diligently back at work.    

@JuliePlec: "Going to bed early. Tomorrow's the first day of school. And by school, I mean TVD Season 3 writers' room.#norestforthewicked"

@KevWilliamson: "First day of Season 3. The writer's room was alive and hoppin'. Freaky."

As for the actors who make it all happen, some of them are spending part of their summer gallivanting around England, posing pretty at photo shoots, and filming big screen flicks. Working hard or hardly working? With jobs as fun as these, it’s tough to say!

The Zen Answer to Drama

It creeps up on you. First it is subtle and then it is obvious. It can be shocking and all consuming. Having too many choices complicates things and before you know it, instead of being led by the child within you, the adult takes over and unintentionally life becomes a constant struggle. We all need to be reminded that being a kid at heart is living fearlessly, free of agendas and self-perpetuated dramas. Have you ever noticed how some people just seem to have so much drama in their lives? Whereas some people breeze through life, others seem to live from one crisis to another. Some people just seem to crave drama, create drama and look for drama. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I watch people carrying a load of life's unnecessary baggage around with them in search of the next drama. Let go. It's no that difficult. Zen philosophy emerged from Buddhism. This philosophy supports mindfulness and dharma practice. Dharma refers to understanding "self" and the way things are.

Zen followers find happiness in themselves rather than seeking it elsewhere. This personality will seek self knowledge in order to understand what makes them happy. They also realize that happiness is a state of mind. So they must cultivate the feeling by living in the moment, staying in the moment. They are peaceful and mindful of the ego's tendency to attract conflict which often evolves into a fight.

Think about why everything evolved into a fight, jockeying for position, status, wealth and power. Power isn't about how many people you are able to thwart should they step into your path. It isn't about participation in the battles others choose for us. It's about refusing to allow anyone to delegate the "rules" which attract even more conflict. There are no rules that say you must partake in... if you think about it. Who says that you have to retaliate against the people who stand there, arms folded, waiting for you to engage in a never-ending game of absurd one-upsmanship? Simply choose to walk around that person and go forward with a smile, with laughter. Seek the truth by listening to your inner self and your natural inclination to stay present, thus avoiding manipulation.

Manipulation and taking advantage of others goes hand in hand with the ego's quest for sympathy. The storyline goes like this— now that I have got you feeling sorry for me, of course you must rescue me! And I am in so much trouble and pain, you just have to take care of me! Not true. The sad part is, these people usually have low self-esteem and believe that they will not be noticed, complaining about their lot is their best perceived way of getting attention. Sadly it actually works the other way around— they end up creating a negative impression which often becomes a cycle, pulling everything into the abyss of negativity. If you are at peace within, these games will never find a home with you.

People will respect you more if they know that they can trust you to tell the truth. Do not try to cover up your mistakes, admit to them, apologize and move on. Gossip is yet another a relationship killer. Avoid saying things about people that you have not told the offending person directly. Be real. You will be easily found out if you are being fake. And besides, it is annoying to see two people embrace and be giddy in seeing each other only to walk away saying, “I can’t stand her.” What is that about? Who are these people trying to fool? It's absurd and petty and it should never find its way into your life. Do not be easily offended… Do your best to look past small inconsequential aspects of life. It isn't worth the effort. Keep in mind that nothing is a contest unless you are willing to make it into one.

Know who you can trust… If someone has broken your trust a few times, maybe this is a pattern for them. Maybe you need to use wisdom and discretion in deciding what you tell them the next time you talk. This is not an end all to avoiding all drama, but putting these actions into practice will help you start the drama removal process in your life. It takes practice and discipline. It is important to be able to admit your shortcomings to friends. If you happen to make a mistake or inadvertently hurt someone, be truthful about it all and ask them to forgive you.

And lastly, keep these simple truths in mind... impermanence, transition, detachment from the outcome. Everything is practice. Be the observer.

Joss Whedon • Avengers Update

Joss Whedon's Avengers may have their hands full in the writer/director's upcoming movie if a new rumor rings true. Anonymous sources claim that Thanos the Mad Titan will show up in the film to rain death and destruction down on the universe. The rumor is courtesy of our infamous/anonymous Mr. X who writes: "According to various, very trusted and always on point sources, I have exclusively learned that the other villain in The Avengers film is none other than... Thanos!" Corroborating this rumor is the unexplained placement of the Infinity Gauntlet shown off at San Diego Comic Con 2010, in addition to a cameo by the Gauntlet in Odin's Vault in the Thor movie.

I'll explain if you're not up on your comic book history. Thanos is a member of the Eternal race, a more powerful offshoot of humanity created by the cosmic Celestials that also lives much longer. Thanos is obsessed with the female embodiment of Death, whom he's met, at one point in time hoping to wipe out every living thing in the universe in tribute. In this effort, he assembled the Infinity Gems onto the Infinity Gauntlet, each gem giving complete power over time, space, reality, mind, power, and soul respectively. Even with this great power, Thanos was defeated and the Infinity Gems were split up so they could easily be guarded.

The Infinity Gauntlet's double appearances hint that the rumor could be true, though it doesn't necessarily mean that Thanos will wield it. Previous rumors said that Loki and the shape-shifting Skrulls would take roles as antagonists in Whedon's film. Thanos would be an amazing villain, especially if he's collecting the Infinity Gems, though it would seem to change the scope of the movie from a superhero film to a cosmic space fantasy of sorts, something that Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige recently mentioned upcoming films would cover. The Avengers will be [barring any drastic changes] released on May 4th, 2012.

General Hospital— Code Red!

ABC is placing a big bet on Katie Couric to fill Oprah Winfrey's shoes. The Walt Disney Co. network is putting the finishing touches on a deal with the former "Today" co-anchor for a syndicated talk show that draws on the template popularized by Ms. Winfrey, and is likely to announce the new program as early as Monday, according to people familiar with the negotiations. Ms. Couric's new job would bring one of TV's most recognized faces to daytime-TV as big turnover— notably Ms. Winfrey's exit— is throwing audience loyalties up for grabs. It caps months of talks with multiple media companies, and follows the end last month of her five-year anchor stint on CBS Corporation's "CBS Evening News."

Katie Couric is finalizing a deal with ABC to create her own syndicated talk show, and is likely to announce the program as early as Monday. Sam Schechner has details. As part of the new deal, ABC will distribute Ms. Couric's talk show to local TV stations, with an intended premiere in the fall of 2012, the people said. Ms. Couric would in the meantime have an on-air role at ABC News, they added.

The format for Ms. Couric's show is still under discussion, but it is likely to aim at least in part for the gap that has been left behind after Ms. Winfrey ended her two-and-a-half decade daytime run last month, some of the people familiar with the discussions said. The show could also incorporate elements of Ms. Couric's stint on "Today," where she was a co-anchor for 15 years, one of those people added. 

She began her broadcast journalism career at ABC News in 1979. "She'll be doing the big interviews. She'll be doing the heartfelt stories," another of those people said, calling the show "Oprah-esque." What does that mean? Oprah is a major brand!

Bringing aboard Ms. Couric, 54, represents a risk for ABC. The network is betting on a big— and expensive— name in an increasingly fragmented and competitive daytime TV landscape. Audiences for individual shows have been slowly shrinking for decades, as viewers flip to a growing number of entertainment options on cable and the Internet. Meanwhile multiple companies are angling to pick up the roughly 6.5 million viewers who watched Ms. Winfrey's show, on average, according to Nielsen Company "Judge Judy," distributed by CBS Corporation, has seen her ratings rise in recent months.

Time Warner Inc.'s syndication arm is distributing a new daytime show from CNN anchor Anderson Cooper. It also remains to be seen if Ms. Couric can bring with her the big audiences she had at "Today." At "CBS Evening News," she won some accolades for her coverage, but was unable to dig the show out of its perennial third-place finish among evening newscasts.

ABC, meanwhile, is replacing two ailing soap operas with less-expensive shows about food and weight loss in coming months. Its syndication arm must contend with the impending retirement of Regis Philbin, who has been a daytime fixture for decades. Already, the eight local ABC television stations that Disney owns have scrambled to fill the hole left by Ms. Winfrey, whose show they aired. Some have launched new local newscasts, with others to follow. Disney's syndication arm is making a big commitment to Ms. Couric. As part of the deal, Ms. Couric would own her show, allowing her to reap profits more directly, according to the people familiar with the negotiations. ABC will get a cut of distribution revenue, as well as production fees, one of those people said.

Disney would also guarantee $20 million in revenue for Ms. Couric from the program, although her overall earnings could exceed that based on the show's performance, some of the people familiar with the matter said. To make room for Ms. Couric, ABC is considering clearing an hour of time on stations it owns in the window between 3:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m., according to people [like us] familiar with the discussions. But it remains unclear what shows it might scrap to make room for Ms. Couric, in part because her debut is more than a year away. Currently, ABC's 3:00 p.m. slot is generally occupied by its last remaining soap opera, "General Hospital," depending on the time zone. At 4:00 p.m., a slot often occupied by Ms. Winfrey, ABC's eight stations and other affiliates have been moving in some cases toward local news.

People familiar with deliberations at ABC said the network remains committed to "General Hospital," but could move its time slot, potentially replacing one of the new shows it has ordered to replace the other soaps. It is also possible local stations could replace their new newscasts with Ms. Couric, one of the people familiar with the negotiations [like UPBEAT Entertainment News] said.

By deciding to air Ms. Couric's show without deciding precisely what it will replace, ABC is shifting its daytime scheduling strategy to more closely mirror that in the evening hours, one of the people familiar with ABC's thinking said. TV networks routinely order more programs than they have time to air in primetime, tacitly acknowledging that each program will have to fight for its place on the schedule. The new program represents a homecoming of sorts for Ms Couric. People familiar with the matter say she is working on the program with Jeff Zucker, the former NBC Universal chief executive who was producer of "Today" in the era where Ms. Couric became known as "America's Sweetheart." But that was another era... not this era.

"General Hospital" fans, this is a "Code Red", you need to get out there and act now. Brian Frons is moving his "agenda" forward. But as we stated for the record weeks ago, he is risking a devoted audience for the "possibility" of a new audience. This is not the most "sound" thinking... in fact, it's a much bigger gamble than Frons himself can handle. He's rolling the dice expecting to be "on target" with his antiquated focus groups and reality television background. We're predicting a mess that Brian Frons can't possibly clean up on a good day... he is clueless and his ego is taking him to a place where money is scarce and unemployment lines are merciless. Chelsea Handler was "tweeting" like crazy about Katie Couric's deal less than a day ago... so... stay tuned folks!

Sarah Michelle Gellar is Back!

She’ll probably always be known as Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but Sarah Michelle Gellar has been pursued by the broadcast networks since the show ended in 2003... and they finally caught up to her. We knew that it would only be a matter of time before the actress pulled together a deal too sweet to pass. Gellar most recently appeared in the 2009 HBO TV pilot ‘The Wonderful Maladys’. In Ringer, Sarah Michelle Gellar stars as a woman who, after witnessing a murder, goes on the run, hiding out by assuming the life of her wealthy identical twin sister— only to learn that her sister's seemingly idyllic life is just as complicated and dangerous as the one she's trying to leave behind. Bridget is six months sober and starting to turn her life around when she is the sole witness to a professional hit.

Despite the assurances of her FBI protector, Agent Victor Machado, Bridget knows her life is on the line. She flees to New York, telling no one, not even her Narcotics Anonymous sponsor, Malcolm. In New York, Bridget reunites with her estranged twin, Siobhan. Wealthy, pampered and married to the strikingly handsome Andrew Martin, Siobhan lives what appears to be a fairy tale life— a life where no one knows that Bridget exists. The sisters seem to be mending their frayed relationship, until Siobhan disappears overboard during a boat trip, and Bridget makes the split decision to take on her sister's identity.

She discovers shocking secrets, not only about her sister and her marriage, but also about Siobhan's best friend, Gemma, and Gemma's husband, Henry. And when someone tries to kill Bridget in her sister's penthouse, she realizes she is no safer as Siobhan than she is as herself. The series stars Sarah Michelle Gellar as Bridget and Siobhan, Kristoffer Polaha as Henry, Ioan Gruffudd as Andrew Martin, Nestor Carbonell as Agent Victor Machado and Tara Summers as Gemma.

Ringer is produced by CBS Television Studios and Warner Bros. Television in association with ABC Television Studios and Brillstein Entertainment with executive producers Pam Veasey (CSI, NY, The District), Peter Traugott (Samantha Who?) and Emmy Award-winner Richard Shepard (Ugly Betty). The pilot was directed by Richard Shepard. Gellar is also co-executive producing with the writers Charmelo and Snyder.

Time Travel Chaos?

Time travel has long been a playground for science fiction writers and philosophers, typically regarding the interpretation of time and the paradoxes that arise from unnatural intervention. Prevailing schools of thoughts include Fatalism, Presentism and Eternalism which differ primarily in the concept of past and future, regarding whether or not everything exists simultaneously or only as fleeting glimpses of a moment. The "Time Suicide Paradox; where a person traveling through time attempts to kill themselves in the past, is amongst the classic mind benders for philosophers to explain logically whether or not time travel is possible. One of the critical philosophical questions of time travel regards how an event altering paradox may play itself out. Either a governing factor prevents the paradox from occurring or no external factors intervene leading to chaos.

Proving either case to be true through either scientific discovery or philosophical reasoning carries with it a burden of religious implications. Assuming the passage of time is linear, does the concept of time travel require "fate; and thus defy the notion of "free will; Or does free will introduce a paradox that inherently prohibits man from traveling into the future or altering the past?

Let’s assume you decide to travel into the future. If there was such a thing as free will, it should be impossible to have any discernable destination. For instance, you decide to travel forward in time to meet your great-great-grandchildren. In order for them to exist in a future that you can travel to, a necessary timeline would have to take place whereupon certain individuals met and had children, etc. etc. This would imply fate as key events must take place for the voyage to occur. Without fate it would be impossible to have any destination as an infinite number of potential outcomes are possible.

Now, if free will does exist and you are able to travel into the future, there is no guarantee that two individuals traveling to the future would necessarily land in the "same future." This follows the multiple world concept (somewhat akin to the movie "The One" starring Jet Li). Traveling into the past would seem "logically cleaner" as events have already transpired and you should be able to jump into them. However, the Observer Effect will inevitably alter the outcome of time as it would be impossible to be present in the past without having some influence. Unless, the world were governed by fate. In that case, you could travel back in time because you were "supposed to" and the past has already compensated for you being there. While you may perceive that you are altering things, the circular loop of time that you are involved in will show that event has always taken place and fate requires that you DO travel back in time to do it. This would allow you to actually return to your own time reference without having created any anomalies, because it has always happened that way.

Free will, throws a monkey wrench into the system because conceivably you could alter the past in such a way as to negate the fact that you ever existed. Or alter the past such that time travel was never discovered which means you never went to the past which means you could never have disrupted things. Or, avoiding the self-negating paradox, free will causes the same problem as traveling into the future— how do you return to your "present" if your existence in the past introduces variables and options that will inevitably create numerous pathways through time?

Thus, it seems to me, that for time travel to exist— it is a requirement that A. FATE exists and man has no FREE WILL or B. Somehow the multiple world/dimension thing exists and we simply move through those worlds based on choices (which isn’t that far from actually being fate anyway). And what would all of this mean for religion? Would it be acknowledged by religious leaders?

• Time travel is completely impossible because it will violate all religious principles.
• Time travel refutes religion therefore it would only serve to create turmoil and an unnecessary questioning of God.
• Religion is far MORE real because God’s will creates a pathway of fate, love and eternity.

Perhaps man is fated to endure a cycle of genesis and revelation over and over and over again. This would actually create very compelling evidence for religion— although it would fly in the face of all contemporary perceptions of free will.

Brands Don't Matter, Batteries Do

With the rapture behind us and several more raptures ahead of us, I thought it would be the perfect time to discuss that ever-so-important tool of survival... the flashlight. As a flashlight aficionado/geek, this one actually pains me a bit to say, but unless you're in a public safety profession where you need a fancy specialty light (weaponlight, hazardous environment rated, dive light, something to cut through smoke or forest, etc), pretty much any modern light that you can get these days at CVS, Sears, Target, Home Depot or Wal-Mart will serve you in an emergency.

Yes, using a modern flashlight with LEDs (no bulbs to worry about burning out or breaking), power regulating circuitry and ruggedized/waterproof casing is helpful. But (and this is important), as long as it uses easy-to-find batteries (no watch or camera batteries), you'll probably be okay. In an emergency situation, easy-to-find basically means AA and AAA batteries... and that is it.

For us old-timers, or "classics" as I prefer, who didn't grow up with eBay and DealExtreme, C and D batteries are still ingrained as "flashlight batteries," which means they disappear from stores pretty fast. From anecdotes as recently as the Northeast blackout of 2003, C and D batteries were usually cleaned out, but AA and AAA batteries were always available.

Go hands-free! A good quality LED headlamp can do pretty much anything a handheld can do, at least for what a typical person would need in an emergency. Headlamps tend to have wider flood and lesser throw, but you can hold them in your hand (wrap the head strap around your wrist) as well as wear them on your head (duh) to keep your hands free when you're making a sandwich or changing a tire. (Just try not to shine them into the eyes of the people you're talking to, it's really quite annoying.)

In emergencies, output is okay, but run time rules! In an emergency that leads to an extended power outage, unless you're in one of those aforementioned specialty occupations, most people will find that run time is far, far more important than brightness. When it's truly dark out, a light can become "too bright" to be usable pretty quickly. LED, cold fluorescent, or even electroluminescent lanterns are plenty fine for typical indoor use— adjustable settings will also let you find the right balance between usability and battery life.

More is usually better! You don't have to be like me (a mostly-reformed, formerly unhinged flashlight collector— but you should see those other guys), but you should have a couple of lights, so you don't have to cannibalize your emergency kit for a light for the kids on Halloween. Preferably, have a light in each one of your emergency kits, one in the glove box of each of your cars, and a few others in the house (master bedroom, kitchen drawer, utility room— preferably enough so you have one for each member of the family so the kids don't fight.) No matter how many flashlights you have, check them periodically to make sure they still work, especially if you store them loaded with alkaline batteries, which can leak acid and cause flashlights (especially modern LED ones) to break. Lithium batteries are more expensive but don't have this problem.

Quiet Quixotic Reflections

I believe in Jedi Knights. I believe that Yoda looks after young padawans. Sometimes I feel like Obi-Wan. Sometimes like a lost Sky Walker tarnished by the discoveries. But whatever happens, I believe that it is within us to have faith in that the force of our will, our sheer determination... it is always with us. All you have to do is identify how you want your life to be, or the results you would like to see in your life (effect)— then work toward creating the situation (cause) that will produce the desired effects. If you’re interested in the results— focus on the cause— and the effect will take care of itself.

With the creative actions of our free will, we can change the outcome of any action. The first step however, is realizing that even though actions may have negative consequences... the power of our free will can change those unintended consequences, and make them into something far more powerful... with love. Tonight as I post this, I notice the Unicorn outside of my window heading towards my sisters’ home to see if my nieces and nephews have fallen asleep.

In a strange state of revery, I look about the room. I am no longer myself, but a stranger here. And, with a very observant eye, I look at what this person has just been doing. Notes written in the margins, a half-finished glass of red wine on the table. Books scattered about... most of it ancient Philosophy. I look at the paintings on the easel, the drawings tacked on the wall or cast carelessly about the place. A strange intelligence is at work, behind these images. My gaze rests a few moments on the pages just written, and reads certain isolated fragments of the text. Someone is seeking something here— an inquiring mind, eccentric and original, with a curious outlook on things. Strange sentence-formations though... but as always, I digress.

My life is made up of memories, like everyone else’s. However, what I realize is that our brain filters out the images that we do not want to remember always invariably making the past seem romantic. Agent Mulder wanted to believe in what he thought was true. I believe too, in sorcerers and goblins, in princes and knights. The voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new horizons, but in seeing with new eyes. Regardless of whether we have a diagnosis of hard to accept with gray forecast, this change in our ability and attitude of course will work miracles on how to live thereafter.

Many of us anchored to the situations of life as we wish, want and aspire to be and thrive in our vital pattern or road map, that which we have acquired through your education, the environment in which we live, for conduct and affections of our people close, the affinities which we approaching. Instead we're moving on and repelling situations and people that might be appropriate to rise to the train on which we travel though different from our pattern of life, even those that lead us headaches, upset because confronted with our values and principles, summarizing are opposed or is that perhaps we are seeing in some way accept the party not in us.

In the train on which we travel, there are people who are only a couple of stations in our car on the other hand some will fall with us almost all the way, many will be very similar to fortunately other hand we are and always will be different and this will bring us new points of view to follow the path with our backpacks full of experiences necessary to meet the obligatory stops at every station of life. Curiously without realizing it, at the end of the line, those who have managed to learn along the way to share all that is of value not only the tangible will be ready to face a moment of transition might be more like the death of the body.

Living stops in different seasons in which we continue the journey makes us live forever renewed. The certain parts of our self die to make way for the resurgence of other leads that we may live fully the other stages of life. There are moments in life that must die like a phoenix and then rise from the ashes, much more evolved. I hope that when that time comes for each of you... you find enough strength, courage and energy in you to continue the road with renewed hopes to be able to enjoy your journey of life. Me? I'm searching for Yoda, having a grape Freeze Pop and finding amusement in the antics of those who refuse to discard the illusions long enough to indulge in laughter and perhaps an engaging conversation with a weary traveler.

Your Time is Now

While perusing the magazine section at the bookstore this past week I happened upon a TON of self-help segment headlines scattered across women's' magazines like so many prairie dogs out in the dessert. Here's the deal. Forget about the magazines. You are all you have. Anything more than that you have access to (family, friends, money, living situation)— that is nothing less than spectacular. But in the end, you are all you've got. Act accordingly and treat yourself like the special, important person you are. Important corollary— you are all you need, too. Which is convenient and cuts down on the number of things you need to stuff in your bags. Not everybody’s going to like you. There’s no magic formula of niceness or agree-ability that will make you popular. In fact, the popular people are the ones with strong convictions, who go ahead and do what they want no matter what you think... or how untrue it is.

The trick is, you have to actually not care what other people think about every damn thing you do. Conveniently, this turns out to be much, much easier than we were led to believe as children. Don’t wait. Ever. For anything or anyone. You don’t get extra points for being the patient, uncomplaining one. In fact, you’re probably going to get stepped on for your troubles. The person you are waiting for is not going to wake up one day and go, “Oh gosh, that person who’s just been so accommodating— she’s the one!” Your boss is not going to say, “Hmmm, who’s the best worker, the one who never says anything or the one who tells me in detail about their weekly accomplishments and is vocal about taking on new responsibilities?” The whole Discovering-Cinderella schtick wasn’t true back then and it ain’t true now... so who cares?

Just say what you want. No demands, no threats. It’s a simple formula: “I want such-and-so, and I will not accept anything less.” If you get something less, honor your commitment to yourself and leave. That’s it. This bargaining skill works with everything: lovers, jobs, children. For example, many people have noted that we have good communication skills with our kids: we tell them what we expect of them, and we tell them what’s going to happen if they don’t live up to it. This doesn’t stop us from yelling… but generally the yelling happens when we weren't clear enough before hand, so: our bad. (And when we get a hold of ourselves, we apologize to the kids for our behavior.) The guy he is right now is the guy he’s going to be forever, unless he decides to change. Deal with the person right in front of you, not the person you want him to be.

If I read one more goddamn romance (or bulletin board thread) where the object is to transform the bad boy through the magic of the (patient, understanding, loitering) woman’s love, I’m going to vomit. Remember that line from As Good As It Gets where Jack Nicholson says, “You make me want to be a better man”? The only response to that is, “Then go ahead and work on that, and right now I’m going to go out and find someone who’s already there.” It really is better to be alone than in bad company. The nice thing is, there are so many incredible people out there to be with! Stop worrying so damn much about how you look.

You’re never going to look prettier than you do right now. And pretty/fashionable/anorexic has nothing to do with how attractive you are or how much you get paid. We have all known size Whatever women who could attract anyone they want, because they like themselves no matter what. Is it more fun to be with someone who likes herself, or one who’s criticizing herself all the time? Yes, if you stand up for yourself and what you want, you’re probably going to lose some friends. Conveniently, this will weed out which of your friends aren’t really your friends, which we can only regard as a BONUS! Your time is now. And don't let anyone out there convince you that it isn't.

Raphael Saadiq— Energizing

He is a standard bearer for what folks call ‘old school’ music, a contemporary artist continuing a time-honored tradition that goes back to the ‘60s and ‘70s. From his early days as a member of the groundbreaking ‘80s group Tony! Toni! Toné! through his work as an award-winning producer of such artists as Joss Stone, The Roots, Snoop Dogg, John Legend among many others and his own solo albums, the multi-talented Raphael Saadiq has kept the faith. “Every record I’ve ever made has had those influences…The Temptations, Al Green, The Four Tops and so on,” Raphael explains from the L.A. studio where he recorded his latest illustrious work. This album is the culmination of a lifetime of experiences informed by the music I grew up on.”

Listening to his newest release, 3-time Grammy-nominated The Way I See It, it’s immediately obvious that it could have been recorded thirty years ago. Musically cohesive in the same way that soul music albums were recorded back in the day, Raphael’s third solo album and first for Sony BMG is not merely a throwback: it is as close to the kind of record made in Detroit, Chicago, Memphis, Miami or New York by any number of super R&B hit makers to anything recorded since. While other contemporary artists may attempt to emulate the sound and flavor of ‘70s soul music, Raphael Saadiq brings real emotion, real feeling and production values that are simply, right on.

 

The inspiration for singer/songwriter/musician/producer and arranger Raphael’s follow up to 2004’s critically-acclaimed Ray Ray set came from an unlikely destination. “I was out of the country, cooling out, in Costa Rica and The Bahamas. I was surfing and ran into people from all kinds of places…and I noticed everybody was listening to this classic soul music and when I came back home and the music for this album flowed organically, naturally. Since I have my own studio, I was able to perfect it, take my time to make it right. I was able to live with it, day after day and I think that had a lot to do with how the album turned out. In all, it took about four months to put it all together.” Consequently, it should come as no surprise that Raphael Saadiq would make an album so satisfying for both old school heads and today’s hip music buyers: his background as a musician, singer and songwriter is steeped in a love for R&B married with a commitment to making his own brand of expressive soul music.

The Way I See It succeeds as a masterful collection of new material that speaks to Raphael Saadiq’s deep love for rhythm and blues. “While I was making the album, I watched videos by Gladys Knight & The Pips, Al Green, The Four Tops…and fused them all together,” Raphael says speaking of the further inspiration he found for creating the album, which truly showcases the rich diversity of funky grooves and smooth balladry that is Saadiq’s calling card.

David Garrett: Rock Symphonies

“Only those artists can afford to do crossover who have already made a name for themselves in the classical music scene.” David Garrett sets high quality standards. And he knows what he is talking about. In Fall 2007 the recording artist made his appearance in Germany with the release of his crossover album Virtuoso and he has been redefining standards in the classic and crossover scene step by step ever since. The native of Aachen, son of a German jurist and an American prima ballerina, can allow himself to sound out the limits. After all, at age 30, he already looks back on a matchless career. He gets his first violin at age four and makes his first appearance with the Hamburg Philharmonics at the early age of ten. At age thirteen he is the youngest artist to be awarded an exclusive contract with the Deutsche Grammophon Gesellschaft.

In 1999, at the height of his career, the shooting star redirects his energy, deciding to leave his predetermined path as a classical violinist and move to New York– not to take a time-out but rather to place his musical proficiency on a theoretical foundation and perfect his technique. He enrolls at the prestigious Julliard School, studying musicology and composition. Instruction with Itzhak Perlmann lends his performance completely new facets. David Garrett’s particular enthusiasm for studying composition earns him a distinction in 2003 when he wins the renowned Composition Competition of Julliard School with a fugue composed in the style of Johann Sebastian Bach. In doing so, he lays the foundation for what have become legendary arrangements. His highly esteemed American composition teacher Eric Ewazen has said of him “As a violinist, his spectacular, heartfelt and expressive playing already dazzled– even when he was a student– those of us who had the great pleasure of teaching him, and we recognized his extraordinary gifts and his amazing talent.”

Since completing his studies, the visionary violinist has committed himself to a clearly defined goal– introducing young people to the classics and kindling enthusiasm for reputedly serious music. Combining classical elements with those of pop and rock as well as rhythm and blues is a means to this end. “Regarding the crossover pieces I arrange, I strive to attain a level of performance at least equal to that expected of classical works. When another violinist looks at one of my scores he must say “The violin part is damned good. It is so difficult I’d have to practice it for hours before being able to play it.” Concerning his ambitions, David Garrett puts it succinctly. “You have to be a world-class violinist in order to record a good crossover CD.

This poses an even greater challenge than classical music does because you want to present things to your listeners in a completely new light while putting on a superb violinist’s performance. The great virtuosos from Paganini to Heifetz did just that. Anything else would be merely mindless commercialism.”

Whereas many conservative contemporaries wonder whether uncompromising excellence and popularity, art and commerce can or may even be reconciled, David Garrett long ago proved that it is possible, enthralling listeners of all ages. The same new, incredibly electrifying spirit pervades lofty philharmonic halls holding sold-out classical concerts and open-air arenas staging crossover programs. The people sense that they are being taken seriously, that a person is performing who approaches the task with utmost discipline while creating an awareness for various musical genres and styles. Garrett’s desire to diminish the awe of classical music felt by young audiences in particular, to spark a whirlwind in the music scene while striving to sweep as many people off their feet as he possibly can is fulfilled to an overwhelming degree.

David Garrett is not only a technically brilliant recording artist who has received the praise and support of such eminent violin virtuosos as Isaac Stern, Yehudi Menuhin and in particular Ida Haendel. His greatness is also reflected in his mental countenance. As one of the few classically versed artists he has an undistorted perspective on tradition and modernity. Thinking in terms of fixed categories is foreign to him. “In my eye, the Paganinis, Liszts and Chopins of the 19th century were the world’s first rock stars,” he says.

Garrett knows the secrets of great music and understands that the more substance a work has, the more possibilities an artist has to make it his own and place it in new contexts. “Bach arranged Vivaldi and Mozart arranged Turkish marches. Beethoven wanted to enchant the masses too, employing musical means to this end. Great composers have always incorporated elements which were popular in their day and there is nothing reprehensible about that.” Thus his musical expertise inspired him to interlace Michael Jackson’s Smooth Criminal with Mozart’s Turkish March– and he did so long before Michael Jackson’s death, before the world had even begun to pay tribute to this exceptional talent.

David Garrett sets trends of his own because he is also ahead of his time. And yet he knows that talent and a command of one’s instrument do not suffice alone if one is to intellectually and spiritually penetrate a work and gain a grasp of it. A background knowledge of music theory enables the well-traveled artist to analyze and scrutinize scores.

“Many great works are unbelievably rich in diverse possibilities. A certain passage in Mozart’s Turkish March and one in Smooth Criminal have almost the same harmonic progression. This goes to show that apart from instrumentalization, music has hardly changed at all over the past 250 years. We continue to work with the same material.” Only this mixture of perfectionism and openness, thoroughgoingness and foresight explain the overwhelming success which David Garrett has had since the release of Virtuoso. With this recording the artist presented the public with his vision of how various musical styles can be creatively fused on a high artistic level without compromising musical standards.

The succession of his own compositions interspersed with arrangements of classical pieces ranging from the virtuoso “Paganini Rhapsody,” based on Caprice No. 24 by Niccolò Paganini, to the emotionally intense rock classic “Nothing Else Matters” by “Metallica” stunned the music world. Advocates and critics sparked off a dialogue about musical orientations which has rekindled and refocused interest in how music communicates itself.

The artist was rewarded with an ECHO Classic 2008 in the category “Classic without Borders.” The “Encore” followed fast on this first success in October 2008, even surpassing the former release as a follow-up album. In the USA, “David Garrett” stayed number one in the classical and classical crossover charts for months. With the album “Classic Romance”, released in November 2009, the violin virtuoso returned to classic turf. He created a special, very personal CD centering around Mendelssohn’s violin concerto, accompanied by seven small works from the Classic and Romantic periods. “Classic Romance” had an enormous resonance, winning Garrett the ECHO Classic 2010 in the category “Bestseller of the Year”.

“Classical music is where my heart lies and I am elated that I succeed in bringing my message across to the audience.” In June 2010 all previous musical activities of the star violinist culminated in a further exciting challenge: Rock Symphonies. At the legendary concert at Park Wuhlheide in Berlin, David Garrett delivered an unprecedentedly individual “musical address” to his multi-generational audience. Classics from all epochs– from the Baroque Age to modern times, from Bach to Nirvana– are presented in a newly arranged symphonic idiom... which is brilliant.

Once again his courage to embrace new things was rewarded. In 2011 he received no less than two ECHO awards for his “Rock Symphonies”. The DVD “David Garrett: Rock Symphonies– Open Air Live” was distinguished in the category “Best Domestic DVD Production” and as “Best Artist” in the category “Rock/Pop Domestic”. “To date,” Garrett says, “‘Rock Symphonies’ is my most extraordinary and ambitious project. For this reason I look forward to getting together with the guys in my band, the orchestra and the audience on the 2011 Tour. For me, these people are all part of one large musical family.”

More Daytime Turmoil

Okay soap opera fans... get ready for more bad news. Our story has not, nor do we believe it will be, confirmed by anyone at the network. Just a few weeks after ABC stunned viewers by announcing it would cancel daytime mainstays All My Children and One Life to Live, for reality TV programming, our insiders are telling us that the network plans to cut General Hospital from the daytime lineup by the fall of 2012, quite possibly even earlier than this for a talk show hosted by Katie Couric. This information came to us from the same source that gave us the heads up on AMC and OLTL. Essentially, Brian Frons, the head of ABC Daytime is sharpening up the chainsaws and has already called a number of clandestine meetings with his staff to discuss what he calls the network's "next bold innovation" for daytime programming.

Our source has told us that Couric's talks for a new talk show with CBS have come to a grinding halt and she is headed to ABC in a deal that will have the network bean counters shelling out $25 million plus for the soon-to-be former host of the CBS Evening News. It isn't actually much of a shock that The CBS Evening News is becoming more and more of a moot point given the fact that 99% of the audience is pulling news stories up in "real time" either from the Internet or at least 2 cable network news networks which update breaking stories throughout the day. So unless something happens at 6:59 p.m., the nightly news is nothing more than a "recap". The demographic for the CBS Evening News is between 50 and 70 years of age and has continued to erode over the last 5 years. Factor in the massive "Oprah Void" and you have a basic outline as to where ABC is headed with Katie Couric.

Despite ABC's assurances they are not signing a deal with Couric and that General Hospital will be around for "a long time", we're not convinced that this is the case... and with good reason— ABC previously issued the exact same assurances as recently as last year— that both All My Children and One Life to Live were safe from cancellation and we all saw how that turned out. If General Hospital is cancelled that will leave the remaining three daytime serials in a dire situation. We're speculating that CBS will be the next to break out the axe with The Young & The Restless and The Bold & The Beautiful simultaneously being cut from the line-up as both shows feed into one another and it's highly unlikely that CBS will only cancel one of them. This leaves us with NBC and Days of Our Lives. The fact that Days pulls in a younger demographic "may" keep it on life support for a bit longer but with Comcast's recent purchase of NBC/Universal, all bets are off the table.

Make no mistake about it, the daytime landscape continues to wane and we are not at all pleased with the outcome. Daytime Soap Operas have become phenomena; successes overseas and if you add the Internet, there are a TON of options. But we're not dealing with "visionaries". Brian Frons has never been behind the genre and had no intention of saving it. Networks are extremely short-sighted right now. They are not seeing "the big picture" or the endless possibilities still remaining to be explored and utilized by Daytime Soaps. Foreign syndication, especially in Europe and Asia, is a wide open market with more than enough revenues to keep the shows profitable. But the "suits" don't have time to research and understand this uncharted territory. To them, the Earth remains flat.