Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I Query, Therefore I Baffle

Okay, so a screenwriter actually sent me the following query:

Logline: A woman realizes that a little statue can cure any ailment. But after healing many people, she discovers that when the statue heals you, someone— somewhere in the world— gets your disease.

No synopsis yet. [thankfully]

Logline: A prison guard ghost returns to oust a flamboyant warden and his entire dimwitted gang.

Synopsis: A dark comedy which operates on several important levels. This unique screenplay takes on the America scandalous prison culture while exposing, with outrageous satirical humor, a hidden society which is rife with corruption and the abuse of power.

We are introduced to BEAR, a mystical Native American Shape Shifter and his Spirit Animal Army. With help from Great Stone Mother, Bear and his loyal followers set out to reclaim a sacred Paiute burial ground where an imposing prison now stands.

Enter JAMES "CUFFS" CALLAHAN, the story’s pivotal character. Cuffs is a former prison Corrections Officer who returns from the dead with his K-9 companion IKE to the high desert of southern Nevada to take on and expose a corrupt warden and his flunky cohorts.

We meet Cuffs when he is alive, working as a conscientious and caring Corrections Officer at the prison. When Cuffs discovers that the prisoners are being fed food labeled "Unfit for Human Consumption" He confronts the arrogant Warden Robert Shivetz. Outraged by Cuffs' insolent behavior, Shivetz fires him.

Depressed and drowning in alcohol, Cuffs takes his own life with a gun. However, Bear captures Cuffs spirit and decides to shape shift into a psychiatrist. He helps Cuffs open up, tell the truth, and take responsibility for his senseless act. Cuffs returns to the prison as a ghost bent on revenge. Bear is also at the prison, posing as a convict. Together, Cuffs and Bear join forces from the spirit and ghost worlds to standup for humanity against the misuse of power behind prison walls.

For example, Bear is able at will to shape shift and summon his faithful Spirit Animal Army to aid him and Cuffs inside the prison.

As the story unfolds, we meet a number of fascinating characters including Senator Clancy, the voice of reason; Sgt. Otis Newcomb, a dimwitted brute, the vivacious Lt. Sandy Adams, and Trooper Bob, among others.

Cuffs has a crush on Sandy. She becomes attracted to him as well, but unfortunately, it's just not meant to be. Cuffs, a ghost, and Sandy is a human— never the twain shall meet.

The story ends on a positive, upbeat note. Bear and his Spirit Animal Army are able to restore respect and dignity to their Paiute sacred burial ground. Clancy advances to become Vice President of The United States and later, by a twist of fate, assumes the Presidency. Cuffs join President Clancy as his aide-de-camp with Bear and his loyal Spirit Animal Army in tow.

Cuffs then emerges as a scathing dark comedy which not only exposes the corrupt conduct of authority figures but also challenges our imagination, leaving hope in spirit and heart for a better day.

I only wish I were kidding. Dear God, it's 'Dave' meets 'The Dead Zone' meets 'Ghost' meets 'The Shawshank Redemption'…

Copyright © 2005 Bridget Petrella Media Relations

1 comment:

telewriter said...

Well, I don't know, now...imagine the dialogue:
"Hey, Cuffs, it's me,'dja shoot yourself while drowning in alcohol? I didn't think guns worked in liquid too well.Oh, wait, I'm Bear. No..YOU are...I mean, I am."
Let's see. Cuffs dies.Bear takes over his spirit and shapeshifts into a shrink who helps Cuffs, who's really Bear now, who's actually the shrink,so....we've got...I dunno, as long as George Clooney plays all of them, who cares?
And what happened to the statue? And why am I asking? Have I shape shifted into a dead dog? Speaking of which, where the hell is Ike these days?
"TROOPER BOB"???? This whole thing is hilarious, especially with the whole President of the United States issue. OH. WAIT a minute....just a damned minute here....this just might not be a query but historical FACT!!! THAT explains it ALL! Get Michael Moore on the 'phone, quick! We have our answer!